Self Note Number 223
by Chiisarin
Summary: [XigbarYuffie]  Reasons why Yuffie shall never skate again: It requires talking to a talking duck, the skateboard laughs at her, and it attracts the unwanted attention of Organization XII members. [A Barfie for oblivion's pen]


"WhoaAAAAHH!"

**CRASH.**

**Bonk.**

**...phlaaaat.**

With a grunt, Yuffie pushes herself up, whimpering at the pain her butt was feeling and _damn, she never knew that you could flip in the air like that and was that BLOOD on her hands oh crap Aerith will definitely never let her out of the house again..._

_Yuffie self-note #222: Never talk to a talking duck. (Seriously...a talking DUCK?) Also, never say yes when a talking duck asks to test out a skateboard. Because you will fall and trip and rocks will suddenly have a vengeance to kill you._

Still sitting on her hurting butt, she glares angrily at the blue skateboard, which was still slowly inching towards the wall. She can practically feel the thing smirking, grinning at how it threw her off as it moves away. She growls.

"Yeah, that's right you damn bastard! Run away!" She yells at it, pointing a promising finger at it. "You won't be laughing for long!"

The object is merely silent.

(Hmph, so it thinks it's too cool for her, huh? She'll show it!)

Ignoring the burning pain her body is feeling, she jumps to her feet and marches over it, her eyes narrowing with every movement until all she can see is the skateboard, and the skateboard only, and _oh boy is it going to die..._

"Alright, so you think you can beat me?"

And before the skateboard can even react, she's off on it and pushing off and...!

...Oh cra--

**PLONK!**

...Oh look.

She somehow ended up on the cement again.

Goodie.

Yuffie groans and rolls over (_YAARR THE PAIIN!! She's on FIIIAAYAHH!)_, refusing to open her eyes, refusing to talk to ducks ever again, refusing to look at the skateboard, which was laughing at her and clapping...

...Wait, what?

Her eyes flash open, immediately zooming to the noise...

"Organization XII!" She gasps out and immediately jumps--no, she'll just push herself up and stay on the floor, thank you--her hands reaching for the shuriken...which wasn't there.

Crap.

(Oh look, it's all the over theeere. The skateboard must have taken it while she was falling off. Stupid inanimate object.)

The man stops clapping, and looks over her with an amused smirk, raising an eyebrow.

The skateboard must be related to him.

Yuffie twitches, while combing through her mind for ways to stall time in case he's going to attack her ..._like oh my gawd she's going to die isn't she and then Aerith will put those annoying flowers on her grave like she did to Zack's and..._

"So, what are you doing here? Is there another Heartless invasion that I should know about?" Yuffie retorts calmly. (For Yuffie is calm. Yes. Quite calm. Calm as she could be. Calm-ilicious. In fact, so calm she could be a Calm god...Oh gawd, maybe when she died she would somehow become a goddess and would have to go through a zillion trials and would have to kill people...)

The guy shrugs.

"Nah, I'm just visitng, yanno? Looking at the scenery, watching the heartless," A glint comes into his eye. "Watching little girls attempt to skateboard..."

Yuffie glares at him, her mouth forming into a snarl.

"Well it's not like you can do any better, you old man!" She yells back without thinking. GAWD, she never knew that she'd find an old man worse than Cid but...

Oh crap.

She immediately clamps her mouth shut.

This old man might actually kill her.

Just inch away slowly...slowly--WHOA CRAP HE'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER!

"WHOA CRAP!" She screeches, repeating her thoughts ..._and was that gray hair no it couldn't be because the Great Ninja Yuffie wouldn't be killed by some random old guy hey did he yellow eyes EW what kind of person has yellow eyes but boy did they look scary and..._

_Patpat._

Yuffie opens her eyes (she didn't even know she had closed them)...did he just pat her head?

She blinks, her mind not registering the fact that the man in front of her was dangerous and that she should be _running awaaay_...

Did he just pat her head?

Did he just pat her head?

...Did her just..._pat...her head?_

"Be a good girl now! And remember, when skateboarding, keep _both _feet on the skateboard after you push off." And he salutes her, before disappearing into a dark portal that seemed to appear out of no where.

_...Did he just pat her head?_

It's only when he's long gone does she snap out of her trance.

All the Heartless that had been attempting to inch up on her run away at her sudden screech.

"...HOW DARE HE? Only Aerith can pat my head and get away with it!" She picks up her shuriken and holds it up as she makes her oath. "I'm going to kill that bastard myself!"

The skateboard creaks by, laughing.

"And I'll kill you too!"

* * *

AN: Hahaha...ha...ha... Yeah, this is kinda bad. But I wanted to finish it so I could pimp my awesome friend's story! Go check out **oblivion's pen**'s story called **lollipop**! (Just go to my favorites) She wrote it for me so I had to write this for her. 

Oh, and another thing to pimp. CHECK OUT ME FORUM! It's all about the prompts, baby! (Another thing you'll find on my profile) And yes, this is unbeta-ed cause I don't want to bother my dear beta reader with another story since she's probably busy with college...


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